Uber Yummy Vegan Chocolate "Shakes"

 

Last night I tried to replicate one of my favorite drinks from Nektar Juice Bar. I added a few things into it, and took out a bit of the sugar and ended with a dinner that even Dan agreed tasted like a Chocolate Milkshake!

Mix in Blender:
1 Cup Almond Milk (or any other type of Organic Milk or Nut Milk)
3 Dates
1/2 Avocado
1 tbsp. Creamy Almond Butter (make sure it's VERY Creamy, we tried the chunky kind and sadly there were little nuts in it that froze solid from mixing it!)
2 tbsp. Unsweetened Coca Powder (or Raw Cacao)
1 tbsp. Flaxseed
1 Cup Spinach
Ice

New Year... New Goals & A New Me!

"Self-delusion is pulling in your stomach when you step on the scale"

-Paul Sweeny

Over the holidays it became apparent that my weight gain has gone past the acceptable 1^st year of happy marriage belly weight… gone past the excuse of but I was pregnant- weren’t future mommy’s supposed to gain weight… gone past me just saying well I’ve been a bit depressed and with little energy after the miscarriage of course I have gained some weight. Let’s be honest now, I haven’t gained “some” weight. I’ve gained 30 pounds in a year! That’s the 20 pounds I lost for the wedding plus 10 pounds more. That’s no longer just my clothes are a bit tight, it’s the I can no longer button the pants I bought that are 2 sizes bigger. So instead of feeling sorry for myself any longer I’ve decided it’s time to get this under control… time to do one of the things I love best- make a to-do list and get some new resolutions & life goals going!

Life Goal #1: Keep writing.

I use to love writing and blogging… It kept me sane during my oh so tumultuous single years. But after Dan and I started dating I sort of lost interest after I lost all my angst and drama. But it helped me through some really rough patches so I think it may be able to help me now. And I know it will especially help me stick to my weight loss and health overall if I have to be accountable to someone other than my own scale!

Life Goal #2: Get Healthy.

This means a lot of things need to change this year. I need to go back to my completely organic lifestyle. Last year was easy to be sidetracked with visions of cupcakes at work, fabulous dinners with my hubby, lots of good wine to drown my sorrows… so this year it’s back to the basics. Real Food. Dan and I are starting the 100 days of real foods challenge. Well technically we will be doing 2 back to back 100 days.  If you haven’t checked out the 100 Days of Real Food blog you should, the author is amazing and has shown that it really easy to get your family to eat healthy and unprocessed: http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/ . For the first 100 days we will be doing the ease yourself into it easier one- 100 days of mini real food pledges… which if we can survive that by the end we will be able to do a full 100 days of real food. Now I know there will be a few setbacks, but I’d like to try to stick with this for the next 200 days! The first one we will be starting on Saturday and seems pretty easy- Week 1: 2 fruits/veggies with every meal. We pretty much already do this so it should be pretty simple… though last night in a fit of exhaustion and my respiratory infection I did have dinner that consisted of 3 types of ice cream & gelato…. And I wonder why I can’t’ fit into my pants!

Life Goal #3: Get Active.

I love yoga. Plan vacations around world class hiking spots. I belong to an amazing gym which sometimes feels more like a spa than a place to go get tortured. I was finally up to running 4 miles at a time. And for our wedding I actually had abs, for the first time in pretty much ever! And then last year I took a nice and lazy break… well that break is over! So this year it’s going to be all about trying new classes, staying activate with my husband, and get back into the water- surfing and swimming. I usually have a tendency to jump into things head first so this time I’m not starting with a 30 workouts in 30 days challenge, instead I’m going to make it simple and easy. For January, since I haven’t’ been active in quite a while I’m going to do 3 active days a week for the month.  Now this can be yoga, or hiking, maybe trying a new class or can be as simple as getting away from my computer for 30 min to go use the elliptical in our Gym Trailer at work.

Life Goal #4: Focus on our family.

Last year a lot of time was focused on so many other things. First it was focused on my family and being with them and my grandfather in the last few weeks before he passed away. And then it was focused getting pregnant, then staying pregnant, and then trying to accept not being pregnant. And somehow I lost focus on the little family I already have- Dan & myself.  I have an amazing husband who not only takes great care of me but really accepts me and all my little faults. He has really been put through the wringer this last year and it’s time that we focus on us for a little while. It looks like it may be a bit before we can really start trying for a little one, so instead of dwelling on that I need to enjoy what little time left we have of being just the 2 of us. While I will never be thankful for my miscarriage I do have to admit that God works in some mysterious ways. Being pregnant I would never have been able to have some of the adventures that we have had lately. I would never have been able to face my fears in a frozen river in Utah. I wouldn’t have been able to sit back with my family and enjoy some amazing brie and blue cheeses over the holidays. I wouldn’t have been able to fall in love with yet another amazing wine from Napa while we were in Vegas. And yes those may seem like small little insignificant things to you, but in a year where I lost my grandfather and lost our baby sometimes you need to really appreciate the small things in life. And although some days it’s really hard to accept that things happen for a reason, deep down I know that they do. Maybe I needed to learn a few more things in life before I’m ready to be a mother… and for now I am happy to learn all of those hand in hand with the true love of my life.

 

What Ifs...

"No matter how long the rain lasts, there will be a rainbow in the end. No matter how sad you may be, believe, that happiness is waiting"

Today I got a case of the what if’s… you know the ones when you think what if I didn’t walk through that door at that time, or if I didn’t miss that cab, or in my case what if I was on a late shift that week and we didn’t have sex and what if I wasn’t so obsessed with having a baby and didn’t start charting in the 1^st month, then most likely we wouldn’t  have been pregnant and maybe now I’d be finally pregnant with a healthy little baby…. It’s been awhile since I’ve had the what ifs… but sometimes these things just sneak up on you. Mine were caused this afternoon by a perfect little 7 day old pink and cuddly baby. I was yet again getting another blood test at the doctor’s office- I swear at this point I could be drawing the blood myself, and in the waiting room I was sitting next to a new mom and her baby. I tried to be detached, but she started to breast feed and that little baby made these cute little sucking noises and the tears started in my eyes… it’s been at almost a month since I’ve had a little breakdown, but it just snuck up on me today. Instead of being one of those cute and chubby pregnant woman that were waiting in the office, I was there for a blood test 2 days before yet another ultrasound and a possible D&C to try and get my hormone levels back to zero. I don’t know if it was the baby, or my hormones, or this stupid cold I can’t shake or a case of nerves for having the procedure on Thursday but I felt like I took a tumbling step back emotionally. And rationally I know it’s only been a little over 2 months since the miscarriage, and it’s normal to get a little emotional still but I’m getting sick of being emotional. Sick of blood tests and what if’s… I’m ready to be back to normal, back to my normal obsessive, slightly OCD, quite neurotic but for the most part extremely happy self! But we all have those days, and those what ifs… luckily mine will pass to like all the rest.  And I know that after all the sadness of this last year I am on the brink of something amazing and wonderful… if only that amazing and wonderful part could start soon. Please!

 

 

Sometimes you have to do things that scare you.

For our 1^st year anniversary Dan and I did a whirlwind trip to Vegas & Zion. It was a much needed 5 days away from all our many stresses. Holidays are usually stressful ,this one was more so with us having a full house with both our families for Christmas and to top it off on Christmas Eve we found out that I will be needing a D&C to try and get my hormone levels back to zero… after everything we had been through this year we really need a nice vacation away from it all… and we sure lived it up! We had amazing food & wine in Vegas while we saw 2 great shows (O and Love)... we hiked Red Rock Canyon just outside of Vegas- it’s absolutely breathtaking and I recommend it to anyone going to Vegas. And then we went to Utah to spend 3 days in Zion National Park… The Beauty there is indescribable… after hiking the top of the canyon on the first day, our 2^nd day was spent hiking the semi-frozen river in the Narrows of the park. The narrows is exactly what it sounds like, this very narrow canyon filled with huge canyon walls and this amazing river. To get through it you have to wade through rapids, and zig zag across it trying to get to the small areas of white sand. Although it was quite cold while we were there (it was barely 20 degrees when we started out!) we were able to stay if not warm at least mostly comfortable in these dry suits. It’s kinda amazing how you can be thigh deep in roaring rapids and completely dry! Your feet do get wet, but with 2 layers of booties on by the time the water gets to you  it is actually quite warm, and not the 32 degrees that it is before it seeps through your layers. I would like to say I was able to navigate the river with natural ease and fearlessness, but the reality for most of it I was quite petrified! But sometimes in life you have do just jump in and do things that scare you. For me it was a moment when I got stuck, knee deep in the water, halfway across the river. I tried to go forward but every time I would get thrown sideways and could barely keep standing. So I would try and go backwards but I would have the same results. So there I was just stuck with no way of getting across… and I’m not gonna lie, it was very scary. But somehow Dan remained calm, found a good footing and reached across, grabbed my hand and pulled me back to safe ground. It was a moment of pure trust, on both our parts. The wrong move could have thrown us both fully into the frozen river. But we landed on our two feet, together. Like we always do. That’s the thing about marriage. Life is gonna throw you a curve every now and them, and sometimes you seem to be knee deep in a river with no way of getting to the other side. But you just need to take a deep breath, and trust your partner. And maybe next time we will end up falling into the river, but even then I will know that we will be able to get each other through. No matter what happens.